Sun. Dec 5th, 2021

Enjoy these following funny quotes! Hope they’ll make you  laugh and relax!

If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room. Confucius

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam. George Carlin

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart. Erma Bombeck

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’! Audrey Hepburn

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown

For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship’s captain complaining about the sea. Enoch Powell

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. Steven Wright

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Woody Allen

A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey.Dolly Parton

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.Dorothy Parker

A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results. BC Forbes

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. Maya Angelou

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. Maya Angelou

Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. Charles M. Schulz

Don’t do what you want. Do what you don’t want. Do what you’re trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.Chuck Palahniuk

Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. Marty Allen

Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg

 My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you’re a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That’s the way to get an idea.Andy Rooney

Do or do not. There is no try.Yoda, from Star Wars

Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. Margaret Bonnano

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.” Abraham Lincoln

So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.Ed Helms

Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things. Bernard Sahlins

It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.”Vince Lombardi

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. Will Rogers

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Bill Murray

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. Gandhi

Even if you’re on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.Will Rogers

I don’t have a funny bone in my body; now I know why my surgeon’s bills are so high. Rory R. Cuphist

 If you’re going through hell, keep going.Winston Churchill

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book. Irish Quote

It ain’t over til it’s over.Yogi Berra

If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverbs

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. C.E.M. Joad

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